Behind Closed Doors

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The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.
--Jim Rohn

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#29 Behind Closed Doors

Blood flows through my veins not a crimson color but black,
my body is enveloped in a black satin sack.
Everything I do is wrong and unnaccounted for,
and I feel as if I can't do anything right anymore.
I'm knocking on heavens' door but God refuses to answer,
all my sins are consuming me away like cancer.
Unleashing my fury and everything inside,
I'm sick of having to hide everything I hide.
If evil were to die I'd still live on inside of me,
I feel like my soul has been locked up and they threw away the key.
All I want is revenge is that to much to ask?
And to throw away the burdens that I hide behind this mask.
I'm so confused and I don't know where my priorities lie,
and I'm sick of everyone watching me while I slowly die.
They say it can only get better from here,
but it never will I fear.
Depression has had his hand around my throat for so long,
which inspires this sad song.
I've been taking this bitter medicine that he makes me swallow,
Inside there's nothing it's just hollow.
I'm searching deep inside to try to find what I've lost,
but inside me is so cold all I find is frost.
I'm starting to slip,
I need to get a grip.
And I feel like I'm alone,
sick of the sinners casting the first stone.
Secrets kept in confidentiality,
but everyone already knows in all reality.
Abandoned and weak,
feeling like a freak.
Lost in all my thoughts.
Blowing out the candles that's been lit for all these years,
which releases all my fears.
In the darkness evil swallows me, swimming in his evil sea.
Now I know all hope is lost,
and I'll have to pay the cost.
The doors to heaven will never open for me,
which means my soul will never be free.
I'll always be lost inside.





There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

--Carl Jung


I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
--Helen Keller

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Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.
--Birdee Pruitt (Sandra Bullock) Hope Floats

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
--Jean de La Fontaine

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