DateLife NYC

This is the place to search for a funny poem for that special friend. The best resource for quotes and funny poetry.

#72 DateLife NYC
Warning: May be inappropriate for anyone in earshot
Dating is tough for a gal in the city
Cuz brains aren't enough and most guys just ain't pretty.
So let's get down to details both nitty and gritty,
And you'll see that it needn't always seem so shitty.

Though most guys aren't cute,
The numbers are ample
And it's less overwhelming to start with a sample.
So let's check out some options on becoming a twosome,
(And if that doesn't work you can always just screw some.)

With a click and a drag of your mouse you'll find guys,
Though some things are better off left to surprise.

As he sheds off his screenname of BigJew4You,
You choke back the tears as you try not to spew.
He's a bit of a freak, it is sad but it's true,
But the real horror is that you know you're one too.
So to see if your true personalities mesh,
It's safer to meet face to face, in the flesh.

When you discover there're choices there's always speed-dating,
Some guys are exciting, while some leave you hating.
But it's all in good fun with the prospect of mating,
It can be quite interesting. Translation: degrading.

Though there are many men on the streets of New York,
He might not keep kosher, aka-he eats pork,
But unless you are ready for a wedding and a stork,
You'll be lucky to find one who knows how to fork.

Though it sometimes feels hopeless, that just isn't so,
Remember that each trial helps you to grow,
So until your Prince Charming rides in on that horse,
Enjoy the adventure though it may seem off course.

Still it's true that dating is often quite scary,
Some young guys are bald, while others are hairy.
Neither of which you are dying to marry,
'Specially if he's 'friends' with a Tom, Dick or Larry.

So beware of speed dating and the internet site,
And believe me dear ladies, I too take this plight,
So until you should stumble upon Mr. Right,
Happy Dating to all, and to all a good fright!

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

Home - Funny Quotes
Link to this page

Free Poetry Contest Poetry.com will award over 1,200 awards and prizes totaling over $100,000 to amateur poets in the coming months. All contestants are eligible for both of our contests. Join Now!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

Paste this code into the HTML of your page:
<a href="http://www.lovethepoem.com/funnypoems">Free funny poems</a>
All funny poems are welcome to the LoveThePoem.Com contest! All amateur poets are encouraged to send their work - twisted short, funny for kids, valentine, animal, stupid, really funny, spring, sport , long, adult, teacher, child