Lies

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#68 Lies
People always lie to me,
They never tell the truth.
To find out what they're telling me,
I have to be a sleuth.
My friend said he was sorry,
But I know his name is Ben,
And if my mom is in a pickle,
What am I in, then?
My dad is using Moose for Men,
My sister's eating kicks.
My brother's going out tonight
To go and pick up chicks.
A frog is in my brother's throat,
Our cat is in the bag,
I'm driving mother up the wall,
This party is a drag.
My grandpa must discover
The fountain of his youth.
See? People always lie to me.
They never tell the truth.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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