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#56 The sky was dark
I'm sitting up late tonight,
writing down the thoughts
that keep me from sleep.
My heart is full of pain.
You're out on the town with your new love.
I hope she gets a run in her pantyhose
and the zipper on her new dress breaks;
or maybe you find out her breasts are fake.
I hope your face breaks out in zits
and she thinks your breath stinks;
and I hope you bend down and rip the seat of your pants.
When you get to the restaurant I hope the food is cold,
I hope the wine is sour and the bread has mold
(a case of food poisoning would be neat).
And I hope when you start dancing she throws up on your feet.
If all these things could happen,
maybe I could sleep.
And with a rested mind
I could wish for some more things to happen to you . . .
But it still won't be enough.
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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