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#52 The Lion
Please listen one, and listen all
To epic tale, as I recall
To weak of heart, I bid adieu
For now commence, my ode to you.
When I was six, or maybe younger
Down deep inside, I felt a hunger
To see the world, to set my sail
As to my quest, I would not fail.
I planned escape for dawn's first light
For still afraid the dark of night
With stealth I crept by parent's door
I jumped in fear, 'twas just Dad's snore.
On down the hall to living room
I did not know what terrors loom
I crouched in fear, TICK TOCK TICK TOCK
I sighed relief, just mantle's clock.
Then in search of bread and jelly
I could not leave on empty belly
O' would it cease, this hunger stop?
I could not reach the countertop.
My plan awry, I forged ahead
No turning back, once left my bed
With firm resolve, I left the house
As quiet as a frightened mouse.
Across the lawn, to fence out back
Prepared to face, unknown attack
What evils lurked? I must beware
Behind the shed, in jungle there.
Amidst the leaves, I heard a sound
It was a lion! My heart did pound
With razor teeth, and claws of steel
A certain death, what pain I'd feel.
What could I do? I had no gun
My only course, turn tail and run
Back in the house and down the hall
With panting breath, on bed did fall.
Then down the hall, I heard a door
Was Mom and Dad, they slept no more
I heard Mom say, "Now what was that? "
"Oh, back door's open, it's just the cat. "
My ode is over, and I must go
My tale of danger, my tale of woe
It is finished, the lesson heed
To all of you, goodbye, Godspeed.
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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