Piston --- Broke

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#43 Piston --- Broke
He walked into a bar, sat his frame upon a stool,
Said to the barman, "Just give me anything that's cool!
I'll have a Scotch, a Rum, a double Gin and a quart of beer.
I need something to ease the pain, to stop me feeling queer."

The barman put the drinks upon the bar and shook his head,
"This kinda drinkin' will make you sick. You may even wake up dead!"
"Don't talk to me about being dead," the stranger said with a groan,
"I've just got out of hospital and I should be headin' home!
I'll have this jolt and then I'll bolt, but let me tell you what
I should not be drinking this, well, not with what I've got!"

The barman looked sympathetic as he wiped the bar with a mop.
"Gee, I hope it's not too bad," he said, "So tell me what have you got?"

The stranger downed the drinks real fast, said, "Set em up again,
'Tis terrible and it's rotten......Just what I've got, my friend!"
The barman leant much closer, feeling sad and tense.
The stranger belched and said, "What I've got......is FIFTY CENTS"

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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