The Piddlers Lament

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#27 The Piddlers Lament
I'm piddl'n and paus'n and paus'n and piddl'n
And then I'm a-paus'n once more
It's three in the morn'n, I'll be back before dawn'n
And I'll walk that cold lavat'ry floor

It's every two hours, these piddl'n wee showers
Get me up and roused out of my bed
First it's one, then it's three, then it's five that I pee
I should be a-sleep'n instead

I'm there in the dark, at this ev'ry night lark
A-piddl'n and paus'n and curs'n
I can't sleep hours eight, or even sleep late
Like a normally piddl'n person

Too late now I know, for long and smooth flow
When old prostate's all swollen and knotty
'twould be for the best if they cut out the pest
And I slept - 'stead of piddl'n - int' potty

Now doctor's the man, to say if he can
"There are steps which right now can be taken"
And to make things work proper, he'll plumb me with copper
Then I'll sleep the night through, 'fore I'll waken.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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