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#22 Keep Cool
My life is like a kitchen fridge.
The analogy is frightening
How analysing this white good
Gives insights so enlightening.
For when I was new and little used
I sparkled glistening white,
And when I was open wide to view
My bulb inside shone bright.
My contents stayed so fresh and crisp
I could instantly defrost.
My motor ran infrequently
To minimise my cost.
I gave the picture I was smart
And kept a tight schedule.
I was quick and efficient.
I kept my calm and cool.
Alas I am no longer new,
I've been well used and battered.
I have not been well maintained
As nothing really mattered.
My door seals leak. My bulb has blown.
My vegetables froze.
My freezer is so full of frost
Its door cannot be closed.
My motor runs incessantly,
Its longevity's in doubt.
It rattles loud and shakes the floor.
It may soon burn right out.
I'm overloaded, overworked.
This chill I cannot keep.
If I do not change immediately
I'm to the garbage heap.
I need a defrost right away.
I hardly can recall
The feel of ice slabs falling off
To free my freezer walls.
I know it will envigorate
To warm my freezing core
And drip my drips with no control
To puddle on the floor.
Oh what a wonderful release
To make a mighty mess
And let the food warm up and rot
While feeling quite guiltless.
I'll rid my shelves of all the food
And clean off all the mould.
I want to have a complete new start
And not be undersold.
I'll get new seals to line my door
To make it fit right tight
And wear a long-life new bulb
So I'll always shine out bright.
Before you let yourself frost up
And be the burnt out fool
Start your own defrost program
So you can keep your "cool".
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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