Creative Expression

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#167 Creative Expression
There are sleepy farts
and weepy farts,
Sneaky ones and streaky ones,
squashy ones and frothy ones,
They come in clusters
or can be gut-busters,
Some are pre-booked
and some are pre-cooked,
Or the dutch oven variety
can trigger sobriety
Or worse, a divorce,
which is not on, of course,
So check what you eat
so that you might beat
That damning affliction
which lacks refined diction,
Throw out the baked beans
and find other means,
Don't be a plodder
get rid of fart-fodder,
Bring back the romance
to the bedroom of chance,
No more of the farting,
no more of the parting
Of cheeks in the night
with all of your might,
Try passionate kisses,
no more hit and misses,
Deny the foul odour,
don't be an exploder,
Just try to impart
to your beloved sweetheart
Romance a-la-carte…
instead of a fart.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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