A Tragic Sneeze

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#164 A Tragic Sneeze
While listing by rank of those I must thank,
my brain with emotion agrees.
I remember the host, who helped me the most,
by nicely putting her guests at ease.

She did kind distract, each guest with her tact,
explaining away my tragic sneeze,
(which scattered three trays of spinach souffles
and sprayed each guest with splattered cheese.)

With words of quick choice, in self assured voice,
said, "I put too much pepper in these!"
I said I was sick and leaving so quick,
I barely heard their fading pleas;

"Too bad you must go, we'll miss you, we know.
just like dogs will miss their fleas!"
Our host did insist, "You're sure to be missed
at ALL of my dinners and teas!"

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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