Jasmin's Birthday

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#161 Jasmin's Birthday
Thank you for the party Mum
My birthday was such fun
I know my friends will all come back
When I have another one

The cake you baked was special
I never would have thought Mum
That a no-egg, no-milk, no-butter, chocolate-free, fat-free,
sugar-free, date & pumpkin cake
Would taste just like a bought one

Pink icing made from Beetroot-
Coloured-Tofu on the top
And beeswax smoke-less candles
That you made at a workshop

I'm glad you made the fairy bread
From organic, yeast-free rye
And sprinkled it with poppy seeds,
sesame and sunflower... to fortify

The chickpea dip, falafel balls,
The celery sticks with hommus
And what about the babaganouse
That was real adventurous

Mum, I do appreciate
All the hot food you prepared
From non-genetic-engineered soy
It shows you really care

Like the not-dogs and not-sausage rolls
With the not-tomato-sauce
And I loved the home-grown veggie pizza
With soy cheese of course

I'm forgetting the most fun part
Was the games we got to play
They took you ages to prepare,
But they really made the day

Like bob for locally-grown organic apples
bought from a neighbour down the street
And pin the tail back on the dog
(that had it cut off in a laboratory experiment)
was really neat

Sight-impared person's bluff and
The free range egg and spoon race
Musical chairs played to Tony O'Connor
And my favourite ... Tug-of-Peace

Pass the parcel wrapped with unbleached recycled paper, grown on the
west side of a hill by a tree released from its vertical home to serve
humanity by a group of landcare volunteers who formed a circle around the tree,
meditated and chanted for four days before placing it gently, back onto
the earth from which it had first sprung as a sapling and from where its
mother and father had gone on before to serve as recycled toilet paper
and toothpicks respectively.

And instead of taking their prizes, Mum
My friends and I agreed
That we'd donate to a charity
For children who're in need

And I'm glad you said 'no presents'
I really have so much
Just you and Dad as parents
Is birthday present enough

My friends went home exhausted
From all the fun they'd had
With their little calico bags
Full of gelatine-free sweets you made

So thank you for the party Mum
My birthday was such fun
I know I'll always remember it,
The day that I turned ONE!

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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