Flypaper

This is the place to search for a funny poem for that special friend. The best resource for quotes and funny poetry.

#147 Flypaper
The title of this poem's misleadin',
it's not quite as it implies
for this is a thesis I've written
on the rules that govern houseflies
and one, I believe, worthy of note
that I've rigidly researched for days
and one that'll save energy and pounds
on flypapers, swattin' and sprays:

If there's half dozen flies in a kitchen
and each one's expunged by a swat
I guarantee in ten minutes or so
there'll be six more aviatin' that plot;
but if one has a mind to leave them
to their own devices and doom
come the end of the day it'll be the same
-a half dozen flies in the room.

So, I've concluded from this rigorous study
that houseflies have a law of their own
that stipulates 'only but always
six houseflies will occupy one zone,
be this a kitchen or bathroom
or a spareroom that's furnished with junk'
-so put away The Sun and the flyspray
and roll-up that flypaper gunk
for it's pointless expungin' these critters,
it's a complete waste of valuable resources;
so leave well alone -just be thankful
that horseflies fly and not horses.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

Home - Funny Quotes
Link to this page

Free Poetry Contest Poetry.com will award over 1,200 awards and prizes totaling over $100,000 to amateur poets in the coming months. All contestants are eligible for both of our contests. Join Now!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

Paste this code into the HTML of your page:
<a href="http://www.lovethepoem.com/funnypoems">Free funny poems</a>
All funny poems are welcome to the LoveThePoem.Com contest! All amateur poets are encouraged to send their work - twisted short, funny for kids, valentine, animal, stupid, really funny, spring, sport , long, adult, teacher, child