Fly By Night

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#146 Fly By Night
I'm just a tiny little fly,
Sitting on the ceiling.
I say all day, 'O me, O my',
What a funny feeling.

I've no regard for Aerogard,
I use it for a tan,
I'll simply fly out to the yard,
If I think you've got a can.

Up and down the wall with glee,
I never need to think.
If you throw a shoe at me,
I'll migrate over to the sink.

I have a million eyes to see,
You're a fool beyond compare,
When you're creeping up behind,
I simply stand and stare.

The fly swat falls upon the spot,
That I have just vacated,
It hits the place where I am not,
('cept my guts regurgitated.)

Come the dark, I go to sleep,
I have no need to worry,
I pray the Lord my eggs to keep,
Where I laid them on the curry.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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