Day At The Zoo

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#143 Day At The Zoo
The female gorilla was pining at the zoo,
No suitable male could be found,
The keepers didn't know what to do,
So they decided to ask around town.

The zoo authorities they did the rounds,
Said they wanted a suitable chappie,
Asking who would do it for five hundred pounds,
Sleep with the gorilla and keep her happy.

But people felt awkward,
Saying "What a question to ask",
Until old Jack stepped forward,
Saying "I might do the task",

"But I have three questions" said Jack,
"Before I do this thing,
First I don't want any comeback,
If there's any offspring.

"My second question is this,
It all depends on her need,
Do I have to give her a kiss,
Before I perform this deed?

"Thirdly" said Jack "Don't think it a cheek,
And if you accept my bid,
You'll have to give me at least a week,
To come up with the five hundred quid".

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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