Cats

This is the place to search for a funny poem for that special friend. The best resource for quotes and funny poetry.

#140 Cats
There's a cat sitting on my foot
My leg is feeling numb
I really should be nasty
And kick it up the bum

But, it's so cute, I have no choice
I just have to let it sleep
So, I'm momentary paralysed
And lost the use of both my feet

And now the other cat's arrived
So enchanting and appealing
The purring gets so loud and shrill
That I lose my sense of hearing

And then she jumps onto my lap
And rests her head upon my arm
Further 'paralysing me'
With her captivating charm

And so, each day I spend my life
Like some disabled fool
Thank you God for inventing the cat
I didn't know you could be so
CRUEL!

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

Home - Funny Quotes
Link to this page

Free Poetry Contest Poetry.com will award over 1,200 awards and prizes totaling over $100,000 to amateur poets in the coming months. All contestants are eligible for both of our contests. Join Now!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

Paste this code into the HTML of your page:
<a href="http://www.lovethepoem.com/funnypoems">Free funny poems</a>
All funny poems are welcome to the LoveThePoem.Com contest! All amateur poets are encouraged to send their work - twisted short, funny for kids, valentine, animal, stupid, really funny, spring, sport , long, adult, teacher, child