Big Red

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#138 Big Red
Poulets $1.50 the ad in the newspaper said
And cockerals too at the very same price black or white or red
We'll take half a dozen of each we agreed
The hens for the eggs and the cocks for a feed
We might even save one for breeding as well
The strongest and biggest his chest with a swell.

So five heads were chopped off and the feathers they flew
And for weeks we had chicken in soup and in stew
The poulets were young they'd not started to lay
But the rooster strode round Lord of all he'd survey
King of all his domain a magnificent bird
Came from fighting breed stock, well that's what we heard.

The hens started laying much to our great delight
But to gather the fruits we were in for a fight
For this champion it seemed had ideas of his own
No intruder was going to steal eggs from his home
He ruffed up his feathers and attacked us at will
He vented his fury we bear the scars still.

We tried sneaking past him our prize to retrieve
But this fiery dictator we could not decieve
He'd stand in the doorway and block our escape
With spurs at the ready our eyes out to scrape.

It was obvious to all that Big Red had to go
But you can't kill and eat a chook that you know
Then a bloke down the road just happened to mention
To get a fine rooster was his prime intention.

So all round the fowl yard we commenced to pursue him
And it took three of us half an hour to subdue him
But he's timid and quiet now was the last that we heard
With three dozen young poulets he's a very tired bird.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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