A Bonanza of a Day

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#133 A Bonanza of a Day
It was in the shire of Scone where fine Thoroughbreds are grown
And sheep and cattle graze contentedly,
When one frigid winters morn', just before the light of dawn,
The phone rang at the Scone Vets surgery.


Where a frantic local farmer told the vet there, Andy Palmer,
His foaling mare was down and in distress.
So all gear was packed to go and with vet student in tow,
At first light they were at the farm's address.


Now the country life had led this vet student, city-bred,
To find his calling midst the flocks and herds.
But vet practises seemed strange to a lad from 'Double Bay',
So he seldom gave advice or said a word.


The farmer took them where the heaving anxious mare
Was lying, surely cursing reproduction,
Then with a short brief Andy Palmer told the student and the farmer
How to aid the mare and prise the the foal obstruction.


The foal was wedged in tight so they pulled with all their might,
Their fingers 'round the slippery limbs were wound.
Then with a weary shout the foal was pulled from out
And its lifeless form lay steaming on the ground.


Then Andy felt defiant - the old bloke was a bloody good client
So he started mouth-to-mouth, he musn't fail...
But soon stopped what he was doing, turned his head and started spewing
And sadly sighed it was to no avail.


As they sadly stood about, the vet student gave a shout,
"There's one more chance to save the foal!!", he cried.
And explained to all they oughter chuck the newborn in the water
Of a water trough outside that he had spied.


Well, Andy started swearing with his nostrils a-flaring,
The bloody air was nearly five below!!
But when the farmer - senses numbed - saw that something could be done'
Well he reckoned he'd give anything a go.


So, on their desperate rescue mission, the dead foal was positioned
Then thrown in the deep and icy trough,
Where it drew a startled breath and was saved from certain death
And came into the world with a cough.


With the newborn reserected, Andy's questions were directed
At the students diagnostic innovation.
Had some sixth-sense spurned his actions or was it gut-reaction
That had saved the foal from certain expiration?


But, when the student gave reply, vet and farmer nearly died
And the vetting world was sent in disarray!!
"Oh, I saw that on Bonanza", was the unexpected answer
"On the television just the other day!!"


Though Andy tried to keep it quiet, he of course could not deny it
And the story spread both near and far away.
Now, when he treats a foal thats sick, he's apt to cop a bit of stick,
When he's asked just how the 'Cartwrights' saved the day.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

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