A Feeling of Impotence

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#12 A Feeling of Impotence
There once was a time
I was omnipotent,
but now, some years later,
I'm just impotent.

I heard about cures
from books and TV
and thought some of them
might do it for me.

Maybe some Rogaine
would bring back my hair
and make me look sexy,
and suave, debonair.

Then there's Viagra,
the little blue pill.
If nothing else works,
Bob Dole says it will.

I heard of males hormones
from ads on TV.
"They bring back your sex drive,
just try 'em, you'll see!"

I went to the drug store
and bought all this stuff.
I used them together,
used more than enough.

Drug interactions
did strange things to me
and caused some reactions
that just shouldn't be.

That hair-growing Rogaine
grew hair thick and black
all over my body,
especially my back.

Viagra did nothing
for my little friend,
but made all that hair
stand straight up on end.

The hormones gave sex drive,
my outlook is great,
but due to the hair,
I can't get a date.

Now I'm in a fix.
There's no antidote.
I'm back where I started
but look like a goat.

All of this trouble
is something I've earned.
"Don't fool Mother Nature's"
the first thing I learned!

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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