My Cousin Fred
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#116 My Cousin Fred
He came, he saw, he trashed my room,
He pushed, he shoved, he broke a broom!
He sniffed, he snarled, I stood stock still,
He biffed, he bashed, my drink did spill!
He mumbled, he grumbled, he kicked my door,
He grunted, he groaned, he stamped on the floor!
He's evil, he's mean, but I like him this way,
It's funny when my cousin Fred comes to stay!
He's trouble, he's bad, but it works out for me,
His thrashing and bashing just fills me with glee!
As my mum and dad think that Fred's the bad egg,
So I can be naughty and blame him instead!
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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