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#115 The Bag Bites Back
Today I was swallowed up whole by my bag,
I was awfully angry and terribly mad!
I had only gone in there to fetch out a book,
But quick as a flash it gobbled my foot!
I tried to resist but the bag carried on,
My foot, then my leg, then my belly had gone!
Slowly it gulped straight up to my neck,
Then nothing was left, not even a speck!
Well that was last Thursday and I'm still in here,
And the moral of this is now ever so clear.
Clean out your bag everyday with resolve,
Or the sandwich that lurks there will start to evolve!
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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