The Crocodile
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#112 The Crocodile
Today I saw a crocodile,
It sat and stared at me!
I didn't run, I didn't shriek,
In case I was his tea!
No move I saw the snapper make,
His jaws remained tight shut.
Whilst sweat poured down my forehead,
I heard rumbles from his gut!
I've been in worse predicaments,
But only in my head.
Like wrestling with big brown bears,
And monsters from our shed!
But feeling brave I shuffled close,
To see his scary jaws.
The crocodile was not impressed,
And flexed his giant claws!
The beast prepared to eat me up,
He snapped, he snarled, he blew!
But I just stood and tapped the glass,
'Cause this croc is in the zoo!
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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