A Chortle on Aging

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#108 A Chortle on Aging
I'm dealing with advancing age
and trying hard to cope.
My body says it's gone from can
to little less than hope.

I used to be so lean and mean
and hardened like a rock,
but now a simple test of strength
sends muscles into shock

I'm getting up three times each night
to tend to nature's call.
You'd think the bladder'd know by now
that last trip took it all

The urges that I use to have
are gone like sweet September
I know there's things I used to do
but how I can't remember

But regardless of the shape I'm in
or how I feel each day
I still enjoy the challenge
of the game of life I play

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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