My Dog is Now a Cow

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#107 My Dog is Now a Cow
I suspect it is as hard as can be
To find a dog without any fleas.
The Vet gave me a pill, for my dog to take....
When I showed it to him he jumped in the lake...
He finally came home about supper time.
Well, then I told him he was no friend of mine...
I told him the next day, to the vet we would go..
When that time came I drove real slow..
I drove up close, right next to the door....
I opened the car door, but could see him no more...
He broke his leash, and ran away...
I haven't seen him for days and days.
I got a call from a neighbor of mine.
For on his rug my dog had dined.
Boy, oh, boy was I ever mad.
He knew right then I was truly sad.
One hundred dollards was the cost of the rug...
Right then I thought Why couldn't I had a pet bug ?
I worked real hard both day and night
To pay for a rug that wasn't in sight.
Let's get back to my dog right now....
The good news, I traded him for a big fat cow.....

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

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