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#104 Fairytale Madness
A long time ago in a fairytale wood,
A little girl skipped in her stunning red hood.
To her grandmother's house, that's the way she was going.
When to her surprise, the sky began snowing.
Looking for cover, she spied a young egg,
But running to greet him, she tripped on his leg.
This made Humpty Dumpty fall off his wall,
But Prince Charming dashed in and prevented his fall.
The king was quite grateful, and as reward then,
He gave the prince all of his horses and men.
The horses, however, were skinny as twigs.
So prince traded them in for three little pigs.
But the pigs were so dirty and kept not a thing right,
So he hired a maid by the name of Snow White.
She kept things so tidy, and boy was she cute!
But one day she dropped dead with one bite of a fruit!
Now relax and fear not, for in no time at all,
Another prince passed on his way to a ball.
He took one glance at Snow White and felt bad for the cutie,
So he kissed and revived this sweet, young Sleeping Beauty.
Then right in the midst of this romantic scene,
A stampede of lambs charged through, looking quite mean.
Apparently Mary had gotten upset,
And threatened to take the whole herd to the vet.
In this mad, mixed up frenzy, these lambs weren't too nice,
And they carelessly jostled three blind little mice.
These disabled rodents didn't know what was what,
And, on accident, knocked Humpty Dump on his butt!
He wasn't so lucky this time when he fell,
And his whole yolk leaked out of his demolished shell.
But rather than moan that the day was a beast,
They fried up poor Dumpty and had a great feast!
So, not counting the egg, whose end was disaster...
Everyone lived HAPPYILY EVERY AFTER!
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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