Land of Contrasts
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#100 Land of Contrasts
O say can you see by the dawn's early light,
When you flush your first pee, it goes down left to right.
When you turn on the light switch you make the room dark,
When you turn on the shower tap you fill up the bath.
You sit on the left to drive on the right,
You make a right turn to run a red light.
You take the expressway to sit in a queue,
You have hundreds of channels but nothing to view.
You work out the sales tax and tip in your head,
Then order low carb with hash browns and bread.
The home of the brave, the land of the free,
You're a total enigma to Aussies like me.
I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I
lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette. Anthony Hopkins
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the
heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebon void of infinite space wherein the
tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang forever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as
I looked at all this I thought...I must put a roof on this lavatory.
Les Dawson
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,
so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my
younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. Tim Vine
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back
home. Bill Cosby
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